Don't ever take things for granted ;

With regards.

To one of my former best friend, I've heard about your incident. I hope you are alright now. take good care of yourself&your injury. it's rather saddening to hear what happened, so do cheerup&be more careful in the future. (:

Walk away, Loved. 11:49:00 AM `

If you still love me.

I'm feeling alittle emo today, I dont know why. it's just all of a sudden, I miss him so much.

Hweehan came over to my house in the afternoon to pass me my jeans. left the house around 3plus4pm along with Hweehan, bus-ed to Paya Lebar Mrt station to meet up with Xujun. Hweehan left aftermath, headed Bugis with Xujun. walked around, Xujun bought all the stuff that she wants. called Steven around 6pm. Xujun&I bought a balloon&a coffee birthday cake for Steven. hahahah. he reached around 730pm or so. cut the cake in the carpark. LOLS. how great. well, after that headed Chompchomp for dinner&home around 11pm.

hope Steven enjoyed himself, Happy Birthday once again. hahahah.

Walk away, Loved. 11:59:00 PM `

Take it or leave it.

28th March, Friday.

Yuying Speech day 2008.
Happy 18th Birthday to Gilbert Ong!

woke up at around 6plus7am. prepared&stuff, Steven came to fetch me then we went Aljunied Mac as he needs to buy breakfast for his colleagues&I want to eat Mac breakfast. LOLS. after that, he sent me to the office. bored please, to be in the office so bloody early without Huimin. LOLS. well, stayed there till around 2plus, left&meet up with Hweehan at her house there. then cabbed to Yuying. ohwell, I'm too lazy to take a bus. LOLS. meet up with Jasline at school gate around 3plus. in to the school, collect our Olevel cert&stuff. went to the Band room ofcourse. hahahaha. slack, chat with some long-time-no-see friends/classmates. watched the Speech day parade. it's the first time I see this batch match, so I think they did quite a good job already. I dont know how the sirs think. well, left the school around 6plus7pm with Xujun, Hweehan&Jasline. had dinner at Kovan Hawker, then went Kovan for a walk. saw Jose there, chatted&stuff. after that, we decide to go Mac for a chat. Xujun left around 8plus to meet her friend. Steven came to look for us as he havent had his dinner. so the three of us accompanied him for dinner&home around 11plus.

Jasline Yeo Wan Li. (:

Foo Hweehan&Mr. Steven Tay. LOLS.

29th March, Saturday.

woke up at 2plus in the afternoon, supposed to go out for dinner with Steven. but I was lazy&all, we end up watching GongZhuXiaoMei DVD at his house. LOLS. home around 12am.

30th March, Sunday.

Happy Birthday Mr. Steven Tay! LOLS.

I'm going to Bugis with Xujun later&would be meeting Steven for dinner as it's his birthday! hahaha.

FYI: I have to be a Cinderella for at least a month(be home before 12am), I dont wish to die so early.

Walk away, Loved. 12:57:00 PM `

It's all about Trust.

those who know me will know that I'm feeling rather shitty nowadays. &yet, last night or rather this morning, my Mum still make a big fuss out of everything. sometime, I wish I could just leave this house&never come back again. I'm tired of staying in this house. I know she loves me but the way, the attitude she uses is totally wrong. nobody wants a Mother who holds a chopper&swinging infront of you&threaten to kill you right. my Mum is like that, what a great mum I have. &the best part is, it's not the first time this horrifying issue happen. I cant imagine myself landing in a hospital.

well, out for supper with Xujun&Steven last night at around 10plus as I skipped my dinner.

woke up at 4pm today with swollen eyes. all thanks to my wonderful mother. well, out for dinner with Steven&home around 10pm.

It takes years to build up a trust&just a second to destroy it.

Walk away, Loved. 11:01:00 PM `

When everything falls apart.

24th March, Monday.

woke up at 10plus11am, prepared&stuff, meet up with Huimin at Singapore Post for lunch. after lunch, went back to office to clear up some stuff&helped Kelvin with some work. work till around 7plus, meet up with Xujun&3 of her friends. after that, headed to Serangoon Garden there, sing&home around 12plus1am.

25th March, Tuesday.

slept at 4am or so the night before, woke up at 1plus which is so bloody unusual. normally I would sleep for 12hours&more so I expect myself to wake up only at 6pm in the evening. but was so shock. LOLS. well, called Hweehan, it's her off-day&at the same time I need to go for some shopping. LOLS. so meet up with her around 3pm, headed Bugis, bought a grey skinny. then went Fareast after that, saw Queenie there. (: well, bought 2tops&1shorts from Blossomz, spent $90plus there. bought a heels from Mondo which cost $29.90. well, I felt so sinful. LOLS. spent so much in a day. home around 11plus.

havent been sleeping well for the past few days, my body&back is aching like some shit.

Walk away, Loved. 5:11:00 PM `

Everyone is at fault.

I'm exhausted, half dead.
I thought I could get more rest after I stop working at AIA.
But I'm like so wrong.
I felt more tired these few days.
Everything just dont seems to go right.

was out with Steven for dinner&movie just now. he wanted to watch those comedies, but I'm so not in the mood so in the end, we caught Rule#1, accompanied him though I have watched it. staying at home isnt a good thing for me now. Steven keep complaining that I'm not being myself today. he said what my body is here but my heart is not. yesh, mayb. I just feel so lost in a case, it seems like I lost something so precious without any reason.

I have got something to clarify.
It's not as if we wanted to break this friendship, all we wanted is just an explanation, is it so difficult?
Ask me whatever you want to know better than bullshitting behind my back right?
It's not as if I dont treasure this friendship.
If I dont treasure, I could just go right up to your face&give you one tight slap without demanding for an explanation, isnt it?
What for waste my time if I dont treasure you girls?
But you two refuse to admit that you're at fault, so is our fault?
Being friends for so long, cant you girls just ask me face to face?
Being friends for so long, you dont know what kind of person I am?
Being friends for so long, now then I know I'm such a bitch in your eyes.
Being friends for so long, the word "split" could come out of your mouth so damn bloody easily.
You are not the only one feeling lousy, we too.
Nobody wants the ending to be like this but you were the one who chose it, isnt it?

Nevertheless, I thanks you two for being my friends once, regardless of what will happen in the future, I hope the next time I see you, we will still smile at each other.
Xujun&Hweehan, thanks for standing by me since then, I love you babes.
Karmen&Chrystal, we might not be as close but remember I do treasure you.
Steven, you have been a great listener, thanks a million.

Boy, thanks for being so supportive, I appreciate it. <3

Walk away, Loved. 11:59:00 PM `

我们怎么了

我们怎么了

落泪以前再看一眼
你模糊侧脸
这会不会是最后纪念
我凝视你而你凝视
窗外的阴天
一句抱歉都僵在嘴边

我搞不懂
我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后
是否
住着伤口
我想不透
我们的爱怎么了
雨下过以后
是否
能让什么
复活

你的笑脸还在胸前
晃动着昨天
为何回忆会让人晕血
如果我们继续向前走进雨里面
会不会有溶解的危险

我搞不懂
我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后
是否住着伤口
我想不透
我们的爱怎么了
雨下过以后
是否
能让什么
复活

明明从前
连真挚都很甜美
现在怎会
说句话就能肿一边
我搞不懂
我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后
是否
住着伤口
我想不透
我们的爱怎么了
雨下过以后
是否
能让什么
复活

Walk away, Loved. 4:27:00 PM `

It's just a facade.

I will only cry when I'm really heartbroken.

Goodmorning everyone, I'm just home an hour ago. LOLS.

21st March, Friday.

woke up at around 6pm in the evening today. Parents bought dinner for me. ate, slack. around 12am, went for supper with Steven as both of us were hungry. were on the phone since the moment I got into Steven's car till after supper. LOLS. after supper, went to look for Xujun as something happened earlier on. all of us isnt in good mood. chatted&stuff. went Jalan Kayew for a drink. fetch Xujun home first as she's meeting Siyong for Breakfast at 9am later. had a chat with Steven at my house downstairs for an hour or so. home at 6am.

I really have no idea why do I have to face all these shit all the time.
Cant you people just give me a break?
Just tell me what you want me to do then you will be satisfied.
I'm tired dealing with all these, really.

Walk away, Loved. 6:52:00 AM `

I'm not like you.

I'm in some shitty mood now. pardon me for the not-so-detailed post.

watched Sky of Love on Monday&P.s I love you on Tuesday with Steven. both are nice but Sky of love is better. I cried like some shit.

19th March, Wednesday.

my last day of work at AIA. after work, went Pasir ris to meet up with Jasline. headed to Jezsica Mummy's Chalet for her 21st Birthday. chat, eat&stuff. Jasline's father came&fetch us home around 11pm.

20th March, Thursday.

woke up at 1pm, meet up with Huimin around 2plus at Aljunied there as she wants to dye her hair, but in the end, she end up doing treatment. meet up with Hweehan after her work, then headed Marina Square. bought a pair of white heels from U.R.S, it cost me a bomb. LOLS. Huimin got 2pairs of heels from C&K. bought movie tickets for Rule#1 which starts at 745pm. meantime, went foodcourt to eat&in to the cinema. the three of us almost died in the cinema I tell you. LOLS. the movie is super scary. it's nice but it will scare the hell out of you. I scream for dont know how many times. LOLS. after movie, supposed to meet up with Xujun for Ktv but something cropped up. so end up only the three of us. went Hougang Plaza's Kbox. sing till 3plus4am&home.

Everything is out to make me lose control.

Walk away, Loved. 11:49:00 PM `

Love is always like that.

9th March, Sunday.

meet up with Jasline&Jason 2plus at City Hall station, went IT Show. was super crowded there as it's the last day. walked around, Jason bought stuff. around 4plus, went Marina Square's Longjohn to eat. after that back to IT Show, meet up with Jezsica&her bf. left with Jasline around 7pm, meet up with Steven. went Bugis together. Jasline bought stuff. after that, we went Lucky Plaza to eat Pizza Hut. &to Cine to watch Leaps Year. a very nice show I must say. home around 3plus.

10th March, Monday.

work as usual. after work, meet up with Erinna. Gaofei came to look for us. home after that.

11th March, Tuesday.

meet up with Kendrick&Junjie at around 9plus at Amk Hub. went Amk Hospital for medical checkup. the checkup took 5bloody hours. left hospital around 5plus. went Amk Hub to grab a bite. around 6plus, headed Bugis with Junjie to look for Erinna. Steven came also. Gaofei came later in the night. went for dinner with Steven&Junjie, home after that.

12th March, Wednesday.

work as usual. dinner with Steven at Parkway's Kfc. home after that.
13th March, Thursday.

work as usual. meet up with Steven&Xujun after work. went Toa Payoh for Sushi. the food there is not very nice. after dinner, supposed to go home but in the end we ended up at Steven's house. use comp, chat&stuff. stayed there till 3plus4am.
14th March, Friday.

work as usual. meet up with Steven. went PS, look for Junjie to get CPF Form. then went Fareast to have dinner together. after dinner, went to fetch Xujun. then went Yishun there to watch the movie, The Orphanage. we thought it was a touching show but it turn out to be kinda scary. LOLS. after movie went supper&home around 4am.

15th March, Saturday.

woke up at 9plus, meet up with my Sister for Yoga. after Yoga, went up to Sister's house, settle some CPF stuff&home. bath&stuff, prepared. out to Aljunied meet up with Hweehan. took passport photo. after that, went Bugis. spent around $60plus on my daily necessities. around 8plus, went Long John for dinner. &home around 10plus.

Since I still have a choice, he's will still&always be my priority.

Walk away, Loved. 11:34:00 PM `

Reflecting on myself.

Well, blog is the only place where I can share my feelings&thoughts I suppose.
I need someone to talk to, but I have no idea who to turn to.
Who will understand how I feel?
Who were in this situation before?
I know I'm too young to say I know alot of things.
But I think I've seriously been through more than everyone else at my age.
For now, I just need some time to stable myself.
After which, I will let go out whatever that does not belong to me from the start.
I know, the one I really love is still him.
&yesh, mayb it's because I miss him too much,
That's why I wanted to drown myself by working&hanging out.
Mayb that's why, people around me tend to get the wrong idea.
I know he likes me&cares alot for me.
But I'm way too young for him.
I know I shouldnt stay too close to him if I'm not interested in him.
But machine do breakdowns at times, &what's more I'm a human being.
I know what I'm doing&definitely I'm not cheating on him.
Because I've never promise him anything or tell him I like him&stuff.
All I want was just being friends&nothing more.
Give me a little bit more time, I promise I will be myself once again.
The strong&independent Meizhen.

______________________________________________

5th March, Wednesday.

work as usual. after work, meet up with Hweehan. went Newton there for dinner with Huimin, Hweehan&Steven. after eating, went Orchard for a walk&home after that.

6th March, Thursday.

after work, Steven came to pick me up. went to pick Xujun&her Sister. then went to pick Nancy. after that, send Xujun's Sister to her Mother's workplace then headed Town to have dinner. after dinner, brought Nancy to Mount A to see doctor as she's having diarrhea since Tuesday. after that, Xujun&I were yearning to go Kbox. so headed Amk there. sing till 2plus. home after that.

7th March, Friday.

work as usual. today was the last day working with Huimin as she's going overseas next week&I'm leaving the job on the 14th. I will definitely miss the days working with her. well, meet up with Gillian&Peixuan at Amk Hub around 9pm. waited for Gillian to end work then headed Serangoon Garden there derh Pub. meet up with Queenie over there. eat, drink&sing over there. home around 1plus.

Beloved Lianiee. (:

8th March, Saturday.

I slept my Saturday away, woke up only at 630pm. LOLS. I didnt went for Yoga also. I'm exhausted, seriously worn out.

Suddenly I feel that life is so meaningless.
School is starting soon in another 1month's time.
Is it a good or bad thing, I also dont know.
I'm just wondering what am I doing to my own life.
Give me a break.

Walk away, Loved. 11:02:00 PM `

Never say goodbye.

ohwell, I miss blogging so much.

28th February, Thursday.

cant remember where I went&what I did. but work was as usual.

29th February, Friday.

work as usual, quarrelled with Boss. after work, meet up with Uncle Steven to get our pay but sadly my pay was calculated wrongly so didnt get it on that day. went for dinner together, &he brought me to a very high-class place. well, felt so out of place there. LOLS. after that, went Bugis to fetch Erinna to pass her her pay&home after that.

1st March, Saturday.

woke up at 9plus, meet up with Sister for Yoga lesson. after lesson, went Tampines as Sister need to collect some stuff. after that had lunch at Foodcourt, then headed Bugis there to pray. home around 3plus. took a nap till 6pm, bath&stuff, headed Bugis to meet up with Twinnie as Ethnic Voodoo is having a closing down gathering. so yeah. after everyone reach at around 10plus, we headed Balestier for Bowling session. weird? hahaha. it's been a long time since I last touch a Bowling ball. LOLS. ohyesh, people present was our 3Bosses, Mark, Darren&Dan. &Peiyi, Berlinda, Nurul, Esther, Matt, Winnie, Erinna, me, did I miss out anyone? LOLS. I felt so honoured playing Bowling with Mark Zee, Channel 5 actor, Jamie Teo, Channel 8 actress&Daniel Ong, the DJ. well, played 2rounds of game&home around 1plus.

I just stole pics from Erinna's Blog(8March).

Dan&Darren brought the Voodoo out for a walk. LOLS.

on the way to Balestier.

Twinny.

Berlinda.

Dan purposely pose there. LOLS.

Legs. LOLS.

Joanne, Peiyi, Erinna.

Snapshot.

our scores,
from top to bottom,
Jamie 159,
Erinna 87,
Berlinda 77
&me 91.
LOLS.

Mark Zee, the oh-so-handsome Boss. LOLS.

Nurul, she said that I'm very quiet. XD
&Darren, the one who see me cry when I lost my phone. LOLS.

Dan, a joker? LOLS.
&Jamie, the beautiful&friendly actress.

Matt, Esther&Winnie.

Last but not least, my similar yet so different Twinny. LOLS.

2nd March, Sunday.

woke up at 10plus, bath&stuff. had lunch&out around 12plus, meet up Jason at Kovan Mac, walked to opposite Yuying there as Band is having a performance there. stayed there till 5plus? went Kovan coffeeshop for Prata with Jason, Jasline, Meieng, Junshen, Azmir, Desmond&Muzamir. after eating, headed home. received a call from Erinna, tidy myself&out around 8plus. meet up with Erinna, Xujun&Steven. went for Steamboat as Erinna is craving for it. LOLS. after eating, we were damn full. Erinna suggested to walk to Geylang for some Beancurd. when we reach Kallang, we were too lazy to continue so we cabbed to Geylang for Beancurd. after eating, sent Erinna home then the 3of us slacked at my house downstairs. chatted till 4am or so&home.

3rd March, Monday.

woke up as usual for work. super shag. LOLS. after work, meet up with Hweehan, Steven came to pick us&we headed Xujun's house as we planned to go her house for dinner. hahaha. Erinna&Nancy join us there, had Spag&some fried food for dinner. home around 12am.

4th March, Tuesday.

I think my Boss, Kelvin Wang ate the wrong medicine today. being such a stingy person, he actually bought Beancurd&Youtiao for me&Huimin. LOLS. well, work as usual&home after work.

Walk away, Loved. 8:04:00 PM `